General decline

Sleep depravatrion is taking its toll. Since Andre was born 11 months ago I've been looking forward to the day when things get back to normal. They haven't got there yet. As a matter of fact, it looks like this is it. A steady stream of interupted sleep which masks itself as restful at 8am. But waking up at 12, 2, 4, 5am, even if only for 5 or 10 minutes is taking a physical toll. I noticed that I now have trouble seeing things that are at a distance, they are blurry or double. At first I figured I just needed glasses. Everyone else in my family wears glasses; at 31 maybe it was my time to get some. I forget things often. While I am home most every day with my son, I still feel that life is hectic. In order to see patients in the evening I often must meet my wife at the train station and drive directly to the yoga room (astoriayoga.com). Then I come home and eat, wash Dre with my wife, and go to sleep. Granted, most people on this earth have it a lot tougher than me, but I miss my faculties.

I haven't been an avid reader in my life, but over the past few years I''ve been making an effort to read more, and I've opened up to a world that for whatever reason was not interesting to me before. I read the Lord of the rings series, 1984, The Bean Trees and others, I've been loving it. At this point though, I feel like reading has become to much work, mentally. My brain is bothered and confused by these words and plots that are too much of a bother to follow. The internet and TV are more my pace.

Basically I am getting dumber every day. My wife is encouraging me to read newspapers every day, which I am getting to. Maybe when Andre gets his own room and sleeps from like 8pm to 8am my faculties will come back. In the mean time my only hope is to juice up on herbs and get some more sleep.

Thue dumbage marches on.

HAGAKURE COMMENTARY 1

So my wife told me that the samurai post needed more of my own commentary and explanation of why I liked those two passages. Truth be told the post got erased and I had to retype the whole thing with my 3 month old on my lap. By the time I finished retyping it I had no more energy to write any commentary. If this was ancient Japan, I would have already committed seppuku (ritual suicide where I stab myself in the stomach with a short sword and carve from one side to the other) for such laziness. Anyway these passages spoke to me.

The first one compares the value of being righteous versus being in harmony with the Way. This is a major difference between Judeo-Christian philosophy and eastern philosophy. The Judeo-Christian way claims that God gave man dominion over the earth and all living things. Everything on the earth is here for us to do with as we will. We are made in God’s image. Except that we fuck up. And even though he made us and gave us the tools to make our decisions, we’ll still get punished for fucking up (this could be a whole other post). Essentially the religion is based on hierarchy with God at the top, us below him, animals below us, plants below that, and the devil at the bottom. In this framework being righteous is the best. Being good and aligned with God, the most high, and opposed to evil is the highest level. This will ensure your entrance to heaven.

Unfortunately, being “good” all the time is hard to do. People who try so hard to rigidly cling to the scriptures often end up fostering “evil” in themselves or their own family. For example, the former priest from my parents’ church. His two sons were big-time drug abusing deviants in the town. Catholic schoolgirls rebel by pulling their skirts almost up to their crotch and have a rep for promiscuity. One extreme fosters another. How many catholic priests ended up molesting children? By denying something or calling it taboo, it only becomes more desirable. No sex? You’re just asking for trouble. The current “abstinence only” approach to sex education is yielding higher rates of pregnancy and STD’s. Making pot illegal and the drinking age 21 only propels kids to abuse them. In France where the drinking age is much lower, and drinking is not considered taboo, teenage abuse of alcohol is much less. As soon as something is a big deal, and off limits, we want to know about it, we want to experience it. Making pot illegal only makes kids think it’s cool (and causes people to get killed or go to prison). There is such a mystique about pot because it is illegal; that makes it more desirable. The fact that it’s illegal is the only reason it can be a “gateway” drug to dangerous substances like cocaine and heroin. If it was freely sold in stores, it wouldn’t be such a hip thing. People would still smoke it, but without the hype. I’d like to know the attitude to pot in Canada where it has recently been decriminalized. Look at the 80’s with Reagan’s conservativism dominating the country. This fostered N.W.A. and some of the most violent gangster rap. Cocaine use was high. Under Clinton rap music’s hostility faded into club music and bling bling boring crap. Fear and alienation of an element you don’t like can often give it more power.

Eastern philosophy, particularly Daoism, emphasizes that our existence is dependent on the harmony between heaven and earth. That life is delicately held in balance by the relationship of different natural elements. It is not hierarchical but is based on all things facilitating each other’s existence. Understanding the ebb and flow of the universe, of nature, of people, is the goal of Daoism. By living in accord with this flow, our lives will be smooth and prosperous. The Dao is not concerned with one extreme or another, but only with the balance that is found between the two. It embraces the varied things of the universe as different expressions of the same existence. I realize this sounds like a bunch of convoluted jibber-jabber, but like it says in the passage, if one doesn’t understand this for himself, he never will. It is through self reflection examination, through consultation with your peers, elders, and books that one discovers the Dao. A good example of how Daoism addresses righteousness is this passage from the Dao De Jing:

“When all the world recognizes beauty as beauty, this is in itself ugliness.
When all the world recognizes good as good, this is in itself evil.
Indeed, the hidden and the manifest give birth to each other.
Difficult and easy compliment each other.
Long and short exhibit each other.
High and low set measure to each other.
Voice and sound harmonize each other.
Back and front follow each other.
Therefore, the Sage manages his affairs without ado,
And spreads his teaching without talking,
He denies nothing to the teeming things.
He rears them, but lays no claim to them.
He does his work, but sets no store by it.
He accomplishes his task, but does not dwell upon it.
And yet it is just because he does not dwell upon it that nobody can ever take it away from him.”

Then again this whole blog is kind of preachy and pretentious. Is this blog is in a higher place than righteousness? Please take it away from me.

If anyone has some insight as to what having eight eyes or seeing things from the side means, please share your thoughts.

THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI

Today's topic is the Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai. I was introduced to this book through the Jim Jarmusch film Ghost Dog. Throughout the movie, Forrest Whitaker's character reads passages from the Hagakure that correspond with events in the movie. While the movie is an entertaining introduction to the mindset of the samurai, the Hagakure gets a little deeper and goes places that are not so enjoyable to go. The Hagakure was written by Yamamoto Tsunetomo, a samurai in the 17th century who became a Buddhist monk in the last 20 years of his life. The Hagakure is not a religious text or even an instruction manual. It is a collection of stories and thoughts spoken by Tsunetomo and written by a younger samurai. The content reflects Buddhism, Daoism, Confucianism, Shintoism, and killingism. While there are many passages that have caused me to reflect on things and in the end feel calmer and more grounded, some passages are straight up disturbing. The time the samurai lived in must have really sucked. People would get killed or kill themselves for nothing. Somebody offends you in the street? Cut them down without thinking. Gone out for a night of drinking and embarrass your boss? Kill yourself in the morning. Lots of shit like that. And the book doesn't just tell how to behave but tells hundreds of stories of people of that time who did that crazy shit. He also explained that young boys should be taught to decapitate dogs and when they are teenagers they should practice decapitating the condemned so that when they are older killing will not faze them; and that if a man is fainthearted about killing he is a coward. That's mainly in the second half of the book. I am rereading the first half.

What I find admirable about the samurai is their dedication and the clarity with which they behave. They exemplify Zen. By being disciplined and focused at all times, they can act with lightning speed and razor sharp precision. They act with out discrimination or logic because their mind is in a state where duality and contrast does not exist. There is only an empty field or a calm sea. All is clear and nothing lies between a Samurai and his goal.

Here are a few passages I like:

"To hate injustice and to stand on righteousness is a difficult thing. Furthermore, to think that being righteous is the best one can do and to do one's utmost to be righteous will, on the contrary bring many mistakes. The Way is in a higher place than righteousness. This is very difficult to discover, but it is the highest wisdom. When seen from this standpoint, things like righteousness are rather shallow. If one does not understand this on his own, it cannot be known. There is a method of getting to this Way, however, even if one cannot discover it by himself. This is found in consultation with others. Even a person who has not attained this Way sees others from the side. It is like the saying from the game of go: 'He who sees from the side has eight eyes.' The saying: 'Thought by thought, we see our own mistakes,' also means that the highest way is in discussion with others. Listening to the old stories and reading books are for the purpose of sloughing off one's own discrimination and attaching oneself to that of the ancients."

"A certain swordsman in his declining years said the following: 'In one's life, there are levels in the pursuit of study. In the lowest level, a person studies but nothing comes of it, and he feels that both he and others are unskillful. At this point he is worthless. In the middle level he is still worthless but is aware of his own insufficiencies and can also see the insufficiencies of others. In a higher level he has pride concerning his own ability, rejoices in praise from others, and laments the lack of ability in his fellows. This man has worth. In the highest level a man has the look of knowing nothing.

'These are the levels in general. But there is one transcending level, and this is the most excellent of all. This person is aware of the endlessness of entering deeply into a certain way and never thinks of himself as having finished. He truly knows his own insufficiencies and never in his whole life thinks that he has succeeded. He has no thoughts of pride, but with self-abasement knows the Way to the end. It is said that Master Yagyu once remarked: 'I don not know the way to defeat others, but the way to defeat myself.'

Throughout your life advance daily, becoming more skillful than yesterday, more skillful than today. This is never-ending. ' "

THE VIEW FROM HERE

The landlord is doing condtruction in the hall, baby Andre is sleeping, I have created a blog. My purpose in writing here is to share my views, blow off steam, comment on various things, and have good discussions with people.

Who is Da Mo? In a nutshell Da Mo (a.k.a. Bodhidharma) was a Buddhist monk who traveled from India to China (and supposedly Japan) in the sixth century and is credited as the founder of Chan / Zen Buddhism. Buddhists of that time were overly concerned with scripture and ritual and were missing the essence of Buddhism. Da Mo made his way to the now famous Shaolin temple in Henan province where he climbed to the top of Song mountain and sat in a cave facing a wall for nine years. Mythstory tells us that he cut off his eyelids so he wouldn't fall asleep. By solely meditating, he showed the essence of Buddhism, that enlightenment is something that comes from mind, that spirituality is a personal quest that one needs to be completely honest about, that while religious texts, books, teachers, are all tools to guide you, only by training one's own self can one reach enlightenment, self mastery requires honest dedication and time.

No bullshit, focus, open your mind, jump into the sea.

This blog will be my attempt to cut through bullshit and honestly reflect on things, and also to share things that have facilitated peace in my own life.